Memorial
I just want to thank you all so much for coming
It warms my heart to see you all here
Some of you have known my Dad longer than I have
Some of you
don’t know him at all--and just came to support us.
I appreciate you all so much
For those who didn’t know him, I thought that I would tell you
a little bit more about him
From as early as I can remember I wanted to be like my Dad.
Even to this day..
He was so
smart, and confident, and clear
He knew exactly how he wanted to live his life: that is--he
just wanted to do what made him happy
This makes him sound like a Hedonist, but I think it was more
than that.
What made him happy was being a loving family man, devoted
friend, and deep thinker
He worked hard to provide for his family
And he also loved to play.
He loved to ski, bike ride, water ski, hike.
He had ridden his bike about 20 miles the day before his
stroke.
One of the things that is so great about this, is that you knew
that when he was spending time with you,
that is exactly what he wanted to do.
He rarely did anything he didn’t want to do.
He loved to talk about just about anything.
It was impossible to find a topic about which he hadn’t read,
thought about, and come to some interesting conclusion.
Growing up, he and I would have long discussions about all
kinds of things. Often after everyone had left the dinner table, we would keep
going.
Even though we agreed about a lot of things--he was a bleeding
heart like me:
for example he
thought that there should be universal health care, and housing should be
socialized.
Nonetheless, he often took an opposing viewpoint, I think just
for the fun of the debate.
This was the beginning of my legal training.
Later when I went to college and studied philosophy and then
law, we had some real debates.
But he was
always so interested in everything that I was learning and thinking about.
We would talk
about existentialism, phenomenology, tax law--things that no one else really
wanted to talk about. He was always interested.
Even though he loved to talk about things, he was not exactly
much for small talk--
Much to the
dismay of any boyfriend I may have brought home for dinner.
He was not being judgmental, or intentionally making anyone
uncomfortable.
He was just completely comfortable with silence.
If he didn’t have anything to say, he didn’t say anything.
But if there was something interesting to talk about--he was
right there.
Really, he may have been the least judgmental person I’ve
known.
He was a pharmacist and owned his own drug store in
Morrisville, and Johnson.
People would
come in and talk to him for a long time about their lives, their aches and
pains.
Many people would have lost patience. He was always happy to
listen. It was not that he was doing anyone a favor. He was truly happy to
listen.
He befriended many of the characters in town that others could
not tolerate.
This is not to say that he was a saint. He was a bit of a
trouble maker, and would stir things up for his amusement.
I am a bit of a health food nut. Especially when my kids were
little, I made sure that they did not eat sugar and processed foods etc.
One time when my son Max was about 4 yoa, my Dad, Max and I
were going to a miniature golf place. On the way I started feeling pretty sick.
We stopped somewhere to get Max a snack, and I stayed in the
car, feeling crummy.
I will never forget the sheepish grin on my Dad’s face when
they came out of the store. He got in the car and said, “I didn’t do good”
Max had Ring Dings, a Coke, candy.
I’m surprised he didn’t have a cigarette.
.
In addition to being a trouble maker, He really enjoyed having
fun outdoors. Growing up, we spent every winter weekend skiing.
We’d get there
when the lifts opened and ski until they closed.
We never went
in for lunch. Not because we weren’t allowed, but because no one wanted to.
If it was
below zero we’d pile on the blankets on the lift.
When it was
raining we wore garbage bags.
But we always
went.
In the summer it was waterskiing. We’d go every weekend and
sometimes in the evenings after work.
We bought trick skis so we could do 360’s. We learned to hold
the rope with our toes.
When I was older and living on my own, he started calling
once/week.
When I heard his voice on the other end, I knew it would be a
long conversations--often about an hour.
So, I would grab a cup of tea, and settle down someplace
comfortable
And we would talk--about everything and anything: politics,
science, a trial I had coming up,
relationships.
He was never hurried. It was always as if he had all the time
in the world for you.
I just loved that. I miss these calls more than anything.
After my diagnosis, he’d call more than 1 X week.
And always before and after every treatment.
It recently occurred to me that he wasn’t just calling me.
He was calling
my sister Ellen, my brother Mike, his Brother Joel, grandchildren, his friends
Michael and Bob Haveson,
Having these long conversations with all of them.
All the people that he loved and cared so much about.
Just like every other Sunday, he called me the day before his
stroke.
I’m pretty sure he also talked to Ellen and Mike that day.
When I asked him how he was doing, he said what he often said,
“I’m living in Paradise”
I think he really was.
He will always be my inspiration.
I
No comments:
Post a Comment